Dealing With a Teen's Anger Issues

Although teenagers are considered young adults, they are still children. Dealing with a teen's anger issues is much the same as dealing with a small child when they become angry. When a teenager experiences anger, they don't always know how to express that anger in a positive way, and may resort to violent behavior. Talk with your teen and let him know that while it is okay to experience anger, it is not okay to express it inappropriately. Here are some ways to deal with a teen's anger issues:

• More than ever, teens find themselves faced with adult problems such as love, sex, money, rejection, failure, and relationships. Since teens are not adults, they are not ready to face these adult stressors. Listen to your teen and encourage him to talk with you or another trusted adult about his feelings regarding any subject.
• Let your teen know that it is okay to feel anger and other emotions, and that he is not alone in his feelings. Tell him about the last time that you were very angry and how you dealt with your anger and frustration.
• Teach your teen problem-solving skills, and do not do everything for him. When a child grows up in an environment where they are expected to solve problems with a positive outcome, they are better able to deal with stress as a teen.
• Tell your teen that consequences come of choices—good or bad. Help him to realize that if he made a bad decision, the consequence will be negative, and that it is all a learning process.
• Look at yourself as a role model. Do you handle anger in a positive way? Your child learns by watching and imitating you. Perhaps the way you deal with stress and anger has negatively impacted your teen, and you may both benefit from counseling.

Make sure that you provide assurance and comfort to your teen when they are angry, making him feel loved even though you might not like his behavior. Show support and reward and praise good behavior. Be patient, kind, and understanding. Never betray a confidence, even if your teen opens up and talks with you about drug use or sexual activity. You do not have to condone drug use or sexual activity, but you do need to be understanding and find help for him if he develops a problem.

If your teen continues to exhibit anger issues, seek professional help and make an appointment for him to speak with a counselor as soon as possible.