Teaching Your Children to Clean

Several years ago I asked my then 10-year-old step-daughter to clean her bedroom. I found out quickly that she hates to clean her room. Her idea of clean and my idea of clean are two very different notions. Through several years of angst and aguish over her lack of desire to clean it to my specifications, we compromised. I told her that she could keep her room the way she wanted it as long as she made her bed each day, kept the door closed, and cleaned the bathroom. She said that she didn't know how to clean a bathroom. It had never occurred to me that she might not know how to clean. Apparently, no one had ever taught her how to do it, and that's why she hates to clean her room—apparently, she doesn't know where to begin.

As my mother did with me, I took Abby into the bathroom and showed her how to clean the shower and tub, the toilet, the countertop and sink, and how to sweep the floor. The next weekend, I asked her to clean the bathroom and let me know when she was finished so that I could check it. To my astonishment, she had retained the cleaning lesson, and the bathroom sparkled! Not only that, I found out that she absolutely loves to clean the bathroom, and now does it without having to be told. While her bedroom remains in a state of total disarray, she keeps that bathroom totally organized and clean.

Parents need to realize that children have to be taught how to clean because they aren't born knowing how to do it. Here are some tips for teaching children how to clean:

• Start early. Toddlers love to help parents. Take advantage of their willing nature and teach them how to do simple chores such as dusting or putting dirty clothes into the hamper.
• Teach by example and reinforce the task with written instructions. Adults need to know what is expected of them. Children are no different. If you want your child to clean the cat box, then you need to teach him step-by-step. When I taught my kids how to do laundry, I showed them each step involved, from sorting the clothes, to choosing a water temperature on the machine, to how much detergent to use, to using the clothes dryer. Then, I typed each step and printed the page, and then taped it to the washer. They still refer to that page when doing their own laundry.
• Go slow—especially with young children. Allow them to perfect a chore, before doling out another. Monitor their progress and then allow them to complete the task alone. When they are able to complete the task without any help from you, then teach another.

Don't overlook the importance of talking with your children about why they need to learn how to clean. Also, remember that children mimic their parents. If you are disorganized, messy, collect junk, and don't keep the house clean, then you cannot expect them to keep the house clean. Teach by example.