Parental Etiquette at Teenage Parties

When I was growing up my house was the place to gather. Everyone had a great time hanging out. All of my friends looked forward to parties at my house. My parents wanted to be involved in my life and lives of my friends, and part of that involvement meant entertaining. Most weekends some kind of informal gathering would take place in my home.

My parents wanted my friends to be comfortable and have fun; however, there were rules to be followed. I lived in a small town, so everyone was looking out for me and my friends. If there was even the inkling of misbehaving, the phone would ring and my parents would be involved. These are some of the boundaries my parents set for our teenage parties:

• Rules are meant to be followed. Rules in my home were set up to protect me. They were put in place to help me make wise decisions. Rules were always discussed prior to them having to be enforced. My friends all knew the rules set by my parents and they knew if the rules were broken consequences would be applied. My parents never negotiated once rules were laid down.
• Review Rules with guests. At the outset of any gathering my parents would go over the house rules to insure expectations of behavior were fully understood. Violations of rules included parents being called and guests being invited to leave. The rules were simple, no foul language, no inappropriate displays of affection, no illegal drugs or alcohol, music must remain at a reasonable volume, and no closed doors.
• Respect. My parents wanted to respect my privacy, but more than that, they wanted me to respect myself. They provided at atmosphere that made it easy to make good choices that avoided the possibility of embarrassment. If there was ever an incident, it was agreed to be handled in private. I was given the opportunity to deal with an infraction, if I could not resolve the issue, they would step in and we would discuss it post party.

Teens need to have rules and boundaries set and enforced. Hosting parties is a great opportunity to practice their new social skills. It is easy for fun to get out of control so it is important to discuss rules in advance to insure your teen has bought off on the rules and consequences for violating them. Make it a point to never embarrass your teen in front of their friends, but be fair and consistent in enforcing boundaries and consequences.