Talking to Kids about Sex

Kids understand things a lot sooner than you would think. By the time your child is around 7 or 8, he'll probably be ready to learn from you the basic components of sexual intercourse. Hopefully, your child will have already learned the proper names for body parts; if he hasn't (this is unlikely in a public school), teach him what they are.

Kids have all sorts of questions, and some of them can be sprung at inopportune moments. Be sure that, when you say you'll talk about it later, you really do talk about it later. If your child doesn't ask about sex, bring it up. It's likely she's getting information about the topic at school and may not be talking about it with you because she thinks she'll get in trouble with you for talking about it.

As your child grows, you will need to talk with her about more serious topics, such as rape, masturbation, and sexual intercourse out of wedlock. All these topics will need to be handled carefully. If you make light of rape, for example, your child will get the wrong impression of the topic and not understand the gravity of such a situation. Your child may even be less careful as a result of your misguidance and put himself in harm's way.

Talk with your child about what sex means and how people use and misuse it. Teach her that her body deserves respect from her as well as others, and that this concept includes not being promiscuous. Teach her that she'll be much happier not having the heartache of Sexually Transmitted Diseases and broken trust and relationships. Sex is meant to be a symbol of commitment and there is no commitment in that lifestyle.

It may seem difficult at first, but if you start early and be honest about your feelings with your child (it's okay to tell your child you're not used to talking about sex and that you're going to try your best to explain things to him), you'll find that it gets much easier. Let your child know that you may not know everything, but that if your child asks you a question you don't have the answer to, you will find out and tell him.