Saying No to Your Kids

First of all, it's important to establish boundaries with your children. Experts in developmental child psychology will tell you that young children don't feel safe without limits. Children who practically lead their parents around on leashes know that their parents won't stop them from getting hurt and that if they, the children, make a bad decision, anything the parents do may be too little, too late. This is a horrific thought for a little child to have about his caretakers, but children can be very insightful and the situation could easily happen with parents who are too afraid to say no.

Saying no to your child will not traumatize her. Children are very resilient. Do not be afraid to say no because your child may be upset with you for not letting her do everything she wants. As mentioned previously, children need to hear a few nos every now and then. It lets your child know you're alert and you care.

That having been said, be sure you're saying no for the right reasons. If there's an alternative way to say it, you may wish to use that, since your child may begin using the word "no" on you soon if that's all he hears from you.

If you still want to say no, though, you will need to be sure you have listened to your children's point of view thoroughly and carefully, if your child is old enough to talk. Ask questions in order to make sure you understand the situation (if you need to). Then, make a decision. If your decision is not to go along with the children, then tell them no. You can give them reasons, if you like.

The important thing is to stay strong. Your children need to see that you're not going to waver just because they whined a little. Don't try to argue with the children. Let them know that, if new evidence comes up, you will reconsider, but that until then, you will stay with your decision.