Teaching Children How to Be a Good Guest

The days of children receiving formal etiquette training are long gone from general society. However, the absence of that training does not eliminate the need for children to learn polite manners and common social graces. It is fair to say that the majority of parents recognize the need to teach their children how to behave properly in the home, but especially when they are welcome as a guest in someone else's home, and in public.

So much of what we learned in relation to good manners we learned from our parents and it is our responsibility to take the time during the frenetic pace of our daily lives to pass this knowledge on to our children. Interestingly, some parents are once again seeking formal etiquette training for their children, as well as traversing their local bookstores for helpful guides to use at home.

Here is a general list of rules that you should consider teaching your children so they will be welcome as a guest in any home:

• Speak kindly to everyone. Guide your children in the appropriateness of always saying please and thank you when asking for and receiving or assisted with any request they make. It is not acceptable for a child to speak rudely or to talk back, especially to adults.
• Never use crude or vulgar language. Parents should not tolerate the use of such language in the home, and a child should be taught to never speak this way in anyone else's home, or in public.
• Be respectful of other people's property. Children should learn that it is not alright to throw toys, be destructive of furniture, or run around the house like a screaming banshee. These rules are important when they are a guest in another's home because reckless or careless treatment of a host's property could prevent further invitations to visit.
• Maintain order, not disorder. Show your children the importance of keeping their bedrooms clean by putting away their toys, placing dirty clothes in the laundry bin, and making their beds. Parents of their friends, or even your own relatives, will not be pleased if they leave a mess everywhere that requires them to take the time to clean it up.
• Confirm the invitation. Children like to have sleepovers with their friends, and sometimes the lines of communication get lost when the children invite each other to stay, but never inform their parents. Always confirm an invitation for a visit or sleepover, so that parents can be proper hosts, and not resent your child for exhibiting rude behavior by seemingly inviting themselves to stay. A prepared parent is a more welcoming parent.
• Be helpful to your hosts. The children have not been raised in a barn, so teach them to be helpful and self-sufficient. When a guest in another's home, let your children know their hosts will be quite impressed if they offer to help wash or dry the dishes, or at least help clean up after meals by moving the dirty dishes from the table to the kitchen. Often, the offer may be declined, but it will make a very positive impression on the hosts.
• Manners at the table matter. Guide your children in their learning of appropriate behavior at the dining table during mealtimes. Let your children know they should always use please and thank you for starters, and ask for things to be passed to them instead of reaching across the table. Also, teach them to chew their food with their mouths closed because everyone wants them to enjoy their meals, but they really do not need to see it.

The most important effort parents can make is to teach by example, and children are never too young to begin learning good manners. Children learn many of their behaviors through what they observe from their parents. When children demonstrate even the smallest gesture of good etiquette, give them praise and reinforce with them the importance of such behavior.