Disciplining Small Children

Children need effective discipline in order to help them become independent, good-natured individuals with solid morals. Discipline at any age tends to create a grey area for parents because there is always a lack of certainty of whether there has been too much or too little. Often there is confusion between discipline and punishment, which do become intertwined when raising children. Discipline refers to the teaching of lessons in behavior and morals that we provide to our children in their nurturing. Punishment relates to the physical discipline assigned to specific acts of bad, or unacceptable, behavior.

When it comes to disciplining small children, what is important is that you begin to lay the foundation for learning right and wrong. As part of this process, when a small child does something 'wrong,' you should first deliver the discipline and then follow with the punishment. For example, if your little boy throws his books across the floor, you should tell him he is a naughty boy (the discipline,) and then give him a slap on the fingers (the punishment). He will learn that throwing his books across the floor will get him a scolding and a slap on the fingers; neither of which is pleasant. You should keep in mind that any physical punishment inflicted should never be delivered with force or in a state of anger because that combination can set the course for child abuse. In disciplining your small children, you need to find a balance between teaching them how to behave appropriately, and why this behavior is correct. It is important to never discipline your children to the point where they are afraid to act on their own, lack self-esteem, and are not happy to participate in anything. These kinds of reactions mean you need to take a step back and look closely at the severity of the discipline and punishment you are doling out.

Parents need to look at themselves when teaching their children about acceptable behavior. To elicit the behavior you seek, you need to be consistent in your actions and with your expectations, demonstrate kindness and thoughtfulness, allow flexibility in you children's learning habits, and be moderately strict. These elements create a balance or harmony between your teaching and your child's learning. When you are too strict, you will appear overbearing and threatening to your child, and if it is accompanied by constant disapproval, your child will suffer by either becoming shy and withdrawn, or mean toward others. However, if your method is too permissive or you are too timid to require acceptable behavior from your child, this can end up negatively affecting both of you. When you effectively give your child the reigns to run the home, they will continue to demonstrate any behavior they feel necessary to continue to get what they want and you will become angry with their demanding behavior because you do not know how to correct it.

Children actually crave discipline and structure. When provided, they create boundaries offering order and safety to which your child can relate and function comfortably. Small children are learning the lay of the land, so remember to maintain a balance between what you teach, how they learn, and any physical punishment you need to incorporate.