Disciplining Teens

Oh, the teen years. They are often dreaded by parents and confusing for the teenagers. Generally described as a period of rebellion, it is actually a period of growth. During this stage, your teenager is trying to become more independent, they want to strengthen their assertiveness, and are developing their moral code. At this age of development, you need to review how close you are holding on to your child, and determine if you are giving them some much-needed space to discover who they are and become their own person.

The reality is your children are maturing into young adults. They are capable of thinking more rationally, and comprehending abstract concepts. Challenges in effectively disciplining your teenagers will emerge, if you have been inconsistent in your disciplinary methods up to this stage. If you have been overly controlling, you may want to prepare yourself for some very heated arguments because your teenager may believe the treatment has been unfair and choose to voice his criticism of your tactics.

On the positive side, if you and your children have had relationships demonstrating mutual-respect, you will want to continue to keep open those positive lines of communication. Again, remain consistent in your discipline. Even at this point, convey the reasons behind the discipline and any associated punishment. When it is necessary to dole out a punishment to your teenager, be sure the time fits the crime, as they say. To make your punishment effective, make it count. That means having it affect the areas of your teenager's life they value most, which includes their computer and phone access, as well as social networks.

Here are some general tech-based punishments that may prove effective the next time your teenager wreaks havoc on the household:

• Confiscate any (or all) valued tech toys, such as: iPod, Wii, Xbox, or PlayStation consoles and games.
• Allow your teenager to use his mobile phone only for communication around school hours (including traveling to and from school,) and if he has a part-time job (including traveling to and from work.) During any other time, you possess the phone and if he wants to speak to his friends, he will need to ask you for permission to use the house phone.
• Lock him out of his desktop or laptop computer, if he has one located in the bedroom, or simply remove it. Only permit him to use the family computer in a common area, and only to complete any homework assignments. Remember to monitor use to make sure he is not surfing the web, so watch closely because teenagers are very quick at maneuvering between web pages. Prohibit access to social networks including, Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter.

Then again, you can always use a valued oldie, which is take away car privileges. Teenagers still love to congregate to socialize, so put a damper on their activities by not allowing them to use any family vehicles.

Parents, you need to remember that discipline is not meant to merely focus on punishment. Discipline is about creating structure and guidance for your children, so that as they develop into questioning and complex-thinking individuals, they continue to learn that every action has a consequence.