Stopping Your Kids from Whining

Parents of small children quickly come to realize that once a child is between ages one-and-a half to two the days of cute baby gurgles, soft whimpering, and meaningful crying are replaced with nerve-grating, long-winded whining. These sudden displays often occur after your toddler has been given a firm 'No.' For a child wanting results, that word is not what they want to hear because they learn real fast it means they will not get what they want. As annoying as it can be at times, you must remain consistent in its application and not give in to tantrums.

Whining, it would seem, is a normal part of young children's behavior. However, though typically used as a simple attention-getter, as soon as your child realizes it is a tactic that helps him obtain his objective it could become a bad habit. It is also a habit that develops gradually, so if you do not pay attention to your reactions to the exhibited behavior you will be spending plenty of time later on trying to break him of the habit. Once your child realizes he can readily use the technique with satisfactory results, as he continues to age and develop the whining may eventually transition into back talking and arguing.

Many seasoned parents have established methods of addressing their children's whining with temporary or permanent success. They are all grounded in the same basic principles, including just not tolerating the behavior. Here are a few basic steps you can try to take control and change your child's unacceptable behavior:

• Do Not Tolerate Whining. As soon as your child sets the stage for a whine session, stop him cold by telling him in a firm tone you do not listen to whining, and cannot understand what he is asking. Then, add that you will listen, if he can ask you in his normal voice. Ignore your child until he approaches you to speak again in a polite, normal voice.
• Set the Tone. If your child is quite young, he may need you to show him the right and wrong ways of asking for things. Through his observation of your demonstrations, he will come to understand that crying or whining voices will not get him anywhere, but by using his normal voice you will do your best to help him with what he is seeking.
• Firm Boundaries. Now your child knows the difference between your reactions. Tell him that from that point forward when you say 'No,' it mean no, and he is not to press you on the request by beginning to whine about it. And, advise him that any future incidents will require you to discipline him for his outburst. Obviously, explain this to him in words he will understand.
• Follow Through with Discipline. Children cannot help themselves and easily get caught up in emotional reactions. So, if you think your child will completely stop from ever whining, throwing a tantrum, or talking back to you, now that you have laid out the ground rules for him, think again because it is bound to happen on occasion. When it does occur, you will be armed with your immediate response. Follow it with the subsequent discipline and punishment, as appropriate. For example, if you are going to the park to play and your child begins to throw a tantrum, simply tell him he broke the rule and you both will now have to return home because of it.

The best you can do, for both of you, is to always be consistent in enforcing the rules. But remember, young children are try learn from you and grow their independence, so be positive and give them encouragement them when they work at displaying good behavior.