Taming Your Child's Temper-Tantrum

Kids throw tantrums in order to assert their independence. The trick is letting them feel their sense of independence while still getting them to behave well and follow the rules. Realize that merely yelling "no" and stomping a foot is not a tantrum—it's just testing the water. Do not mistake this normal child behavior for a tantrum. Tantrums are when the child gets out of control, whether physically or verbally. Some characteristics of tantrums are pounding arms and legs on the floor, screaming, and getting red in the face. Not only are temper-tantrums obnoxious and embarrassing in public, but if you don't get them controlled early, they can lead to even bigger behavioral problems later. Some tips for how to react:

• Ignore: Just ignore him or her! In many situations, once your child realizes that they are not getting attention from their tantrum, they will stop. Most likely, the more worked up you get about their tantrum (yelling, begging, or getting emotional), the more worked up he or she will get as well. Also, trying to physically hold them still will not work either, and usually results just in more struggle. Don't aggravate the situation. Obviously, if you are in a public place that needs to be quiet (like at church), this might not work, and you might need to take your child out and away before you can start ignoring him or her.
• Reward Positive Behavior: Studies have shown that rewarding positive behavior is actually encourages better behavior than punishing for negative. Compliment your child when he or she is behaving well. When your child calms down after a tantrum, stop ignoring them and acknowledge them with respect.
• Start Now: If you haven't been following these tips and your three-year-old is still throwing tantrums, that's okay. Start now! Ignore your child's next tantrum. It will probably surprise your child at first, but eventually they will understand that you are not going to react to their tantrums anymore, and they'll find another (and hopefully better) way to get your attention.
• When to Get Help: Sometimes, tantrums are a sign of larger problems. If your child is throwing multiple tantrums a day, or getting injured or injuring others through the tantrums, talk to your doctor.
• Pick your Battles Wisely: Even as a parent, you're not going to "win" every argument and tantrum. Remember, every child is different, so different techniques work best for different children. Be patient—this period of childhood won't last too long!