Teaching Children to Perform Service

Most of us realize that serving others is important. Not only does it help people in need, but serving helps us forget our own problems as well. When we help others, we gain greater perspective and become more grateful for what we have, and in turn, we become happier people. The trick is, how do you translate that information down to your children, who feel that their own wants and needs are most important? Here are some ideas, but remember, each child learns differently. Be patient and keep trying to teach them.

• Teach by example: Like many parenting situations, it is important to teach by example. If you are telling your children it is important to serve others but aren't doing it yourself, you are setting a double-standard that will make your children confused. If you see a need, try to fulfill it. Don't just wait for someone to ask you for help—look for ways to serve. Even if your children don't say anything about it, they'll notice. After you're doing performing the service, talk to your children for a few minutes about trying to make a difference.
• Drag them along: Going to mow the lawn for the old widow across the street? Even if you're kids are young, bring them along to pull weeds or pet the dog. Take them to the retirement home to sing songs or talk to the people there. Once again, it's good for your children to see you in action, and they'll start to view serving others as a normal part of life.
• Serve within the family: You don't need to just look for opportunities to serve neighbors or strangers—performing service for your family members is important as well.
• Storytime: When you're reading bedtime stories, try to pick stories that have a good message. Many talk about the importance of helping others. An obvious source is the Bible, with stories like "The Good Samaritan." Also try William Bennett's, The Children's Book of Virtues for some great stories with good values.
• Give gifts: Let your child be involved in picking out or making gifts for Christmas and birthdays. If they actually have taken part in figuring out what to give someone, it will seem more special to them and help them understand that it feels good to give to others.
• The little things matter: Make sure your children realize that performing service does not always have to be an all-day affair. Teach them even small things like to hold open the door for an elderly couple at a restaurant.

Instilling values in your children doesn't come overnight. Try to be consistent, and make sure that your own example is steady for your children to see. As your children begin performing service and understanding what it's about, they will hopefully begin to desire to perform more service.